The Rant Episode 4 – Glue Sticks

I need 4 arms or a game buddy, seriously, all I keep hearing about is SmartGlass like it's something brand new. Isn't it just a name Microsoft dropped into everything since Windows 8 came along? Doesn't it just mean touchscreen or am I the only one that didn't get taught something back in 1987 on a BBC MicroMaster…

SmartGlass does offer a twist alright, especially in gaming. Using a second man to call in air support sounds cool enough but isn't that providing 'we have a second man available'? Yes I know (before you chirp up) that we will be able to be paired online for stuff like that, but I am wondering how many people will be sat there with a tablet compared to a console. Also, who's realistically gonna want to play 'BackUpBoy'. If anyone can solve this future equation, please let me know in the comments 'cos I for the life of me, cannot figure it out. It almost sounds like you may be disadvantaged without a sidekick with a tablet, or am I barking up the wrong tree here?

I might search for backupboy on XBL and Twitter now and get in there before I post this, just to spite you're arse.

I'll tell you something else, after reading the August Edition of OXM, it really does hit home just how many new games are coming to next gen. It's pretty easy to forget half the titles due to the masses of info we had to absorb during E3 but oh my god, I need a hat, a pen and some folded up paper just to start picking between some of them as the game scripts and directional gameplay comes to light. They all pretty much sound awesome.

I think I may be a big kid this year too, which makes things awkward (upper age restrictions may apply) and buy Plants vs Zombies Garden Warfare. If you ever read Episode 2 of The Rant there is a section where I mention Call of Duty Modded Warfare and it's not coming but I'm starting to think I don't need it anymore. Just buy PVZ and be a cactus sniper instead or maybe a Peashooter come turret-gun if I set down my roots on this game. It's all the fun of the slightly mad zombie affair. It's only on Xbox One too, so I fall pretty lucky pre-ordering the ludicrously more expensive beast.

Maybe my memory doesn't serve me correctly here, but if PS4 is using GDDR5, how comes I can't remember what X1 is using. I'm having another blank period people, oh no, I was trying to think of more letters than Playstation, silly me, it's DDR3 (as in duh really 3?) leaving the X1 around 76GB/s short of the PowerSucker 4's bandwidth. I do hope bandwidth means nothing 'cos my heads already filling up with static.

Maybe it won't matter too much, seeing as it's M$, after all they know how to suck so much from resources, the screen is way more blue when it crashes. Even Sony isn't as blue as a good old error screen.

The titles on the X1 though, are pretty impressive, and it's relatively easy to tell the shite ones, 'cos they will also hit the 360. If the Game Developer is the same, you pretty much know it's pushing no boundaries on the newer console, whereas games such as TitanFall will have seperate developers for the 360 version than Respawn who will handle the X1 offering. A choice move I would have to say (just don't mention that Vince Zampella has buried Jason West in the desert or we might not get the game, ok).

So, if I wanted to use my tablet on the Xbox One or PS4 to try out the 'BackUpBoy' mode, does that mean I have to pay my window cleaner more each week? In my opinion both consoles are going to have nasty little hidden costs like that. How many people out there actually have a tablet anyway? A lot of the younger generation have the old slow castaway laptops and dad has the tablet so how's that going to work? Erm trade daddy? wink wink nudge nudge…

Fuck Off Son!

It's still early days yet and most would be betting that there is way more information to be surrendered as a 'Pièce de résistance' to capture more gamers to their appropriate target console, but what is left in store? Well we recently heard that mobile text confirmations will be allowed to make purchases in 'The Playroom' on the PS4.

Great, not only will your account information be jackable but now the b**tards can ring you up to brag about it. At least on Skype we get to see the sod that's done it.

Maybe this time round, Sony will use encryption and the X1 will repair itself, which would be highlights retrospectively, both would stay online (yes even Xbox Live has it's issues), or maybe I have my head in the cloud on this one.

Maybe it would be more realistic to ask Willy Wonka to make us an 'edible pad' from non-melting chocolate with M&M's for buttons, liquorice allsorts for thumbsticks and Disco crisps for the D-Pad. Then at least we can chomp on that son bitch pad rather than throw it at the wall when things go good… or bad.

Till then, keep those dreams alive people. All of them, oh and one last word to Microsoft AND Sony, Glue Sticks. Sony snuck through a monthly charge and Microsoft nearly ruined the future of it's console. Remember that, write it down.

By Liam

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