Dear Charlie, At four years old, you have yet to discover video games. I have kept you away from them, distracting you with healthier, more intellectual pursuits, like watching telly, and having three-hour conversations about who would win in a fight b... Read more →
The Rant Episode 1
Hey there, so lets start edition 1 of the rant by questioning the Playstation 4. Just recently, Fizziology, a website that tracks social media keywords and trends, said that the PS4 was twice as talked about as the next Xbox. Let's take a look, why this was the case. I can just imagine all the 11yr olds out there talking about this.
1. When will it be hacked again?
2. How muchhhhhhhh?
3. Can I jailbreak it like my shite erm Iphone
Yeah thats pretty much it. I haven't personally heard one single person actually comment about the PS4 other than to say, maybe Blockbusters will survive long enough to sell them at a discount before actually going completely bust, which is a good thing, cos theres always doors that need holding open now the RROD xbox's are pretty much done with.
It's not that I'm opposed to the Playstation, it just drives me nuts when the missus doesn't dust the damn thing. See thats why I like Xbox, they stand up properly, go red ring and then in the bin, it's a consumable. OK enough big words for a monday, I don't want the alphabet police knocking on my door again.
Pretty crap isn't it. Occasionally I go on just to see what my neighbour had for tea and how many sores my gamer mates have got on their arse but thats pretty much it. It's overly aggressive marketing too. No, that's not your friend that invited you to play that game, he just signed his account away by downloading it. Just when you thought you were popular eh? No-one cares.
Now if Facebook was like Twitch TV, now that would be cool. Just watch videos of people talking, it's way more interesting than half of whats on TV (Topgear excluded) and would use less eye muscles than reading cos you only look in one place so its genius. No wonder Vine took off, only thats for saddo's who are only interesting for up to six seconds. I mean what can you do in six seconds? All the women should keep quiet at this point and not refer to their spouses whatsoever or it's Astro's on and see ya later.
I love my Astro's probably the one thing I truly bought (I didn't pay for them sorry) OK own, that really make sense. Way better than Turtles, though Turtles have distanced themselves from the bassy crap they used to be, they still are not cool, they just went 'value'.
I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait. Last year was amazing fun, me and the boys all went on day 1 (thursday) and were the only ones who missed the 20ft high message in Black Op's II saying STRICTLY NO RECORDING OR YOU WILL BE ASKED TO LEAVE. I'm hoping to totally ignore the same message this year and put so many people in GaminGuys merchandise as possible so there will be a riot should a member of staff ask us to leave. We got so much footage of the maps YE MAN. Of course, the tickets this year were selling out way faster due to the next gen console releases. Hell, the supersaver 4 day early bird tickets sold out before I even knew they were on sale. Naughty Eurogamer, where was my email?? Still, this year I'm taking the missus and hotelling it for a couple of nights. Maybe we could pick up a couple of girls whilst we're there. Just putting it out there babes, you think about it. So long as her name isn't John it's all good.
Call of Duty Ghosts will be there of course. Is there anything more exciting than a game not made by Treyarch? I think not. Although I will say Black Ops II was actually a really good game, but I was thinking last night, why do I buy all the map packs when I avoid them like the plague? Even Aftermath gets backed out of, so Mirage etc don't stand a chance. If its not Raid argghhhh Raid, then it's gotta be Carrier, Meltdown, Slums, Hijacked or Nuketown. Take the rest of the maps off my console and do the walk of shame cos they don't compare.
What is it though with the Elite website. The thing just doesn't work. Sure, it does on Xbox but is anyone else getting OOPS SOMETHING WENT WRONG? I have had it for months, is it my PC or has BeachHead's £15 per year maintenance contract expired already? Shockingly bad service. Not even getting head on a beach or I might reconsider. I have tried it on IE, FF and GC and nada (that means nothing, it's not a new explorer dimwit). For all I know, winnie the pooh is in our clan, I would love to check but OOPS. Poor! I don't use Xbox Elite so you are messing me up here BH. At least beef jerkey has good initials.
Anyway, if you have any topics you want me to use and abuse, let me know and I will totally ignore anything you say. I'm like a cool Larry Hryb with ever so slightly more hair.
Peace out textured vaginas!
Disclaimer: You should be old enough to read swear words to read this post. Damn I knew I should have put this at the top.